Mistake 1: Thinking I'm Just Naturally Anxious or Stressed

Reality:  The truth is, no one is born naturally anxious or stressed.  In fact our bodies are marvelous things, created to operate at optimum performance and stress is part of it's performance.  The feeling we describe as stress is a natural feeling which is intended to lay dormant until some form of a threat presents itself to us.  When this happens we are alerted to the danger by this uneasy feeling, stress or anxiety, and hopefully we become more attentive to it and thus more capable to handle the threat.

Mistake 2: Expecting Stress To Go Away By Thinking 'Positive Thoughts'

Reality:  Stress is an emotion; and, as most therapists will tell you, 'it is impossible to logic ones own way out of an emotion.  Logic responds to logic; and, emotions respond to emotions.  This mistake causes quite a bit of tension in families which all too often find it hard to understand why any family member would not 'just snap out of it' or 'be logical' and know there is really very little to worry about.

Mistake 3: Medicine Can Eliminate Stress

Reality:  Stress cannot be cured by medication. To say it can be cured by medication is, perhaps, the biggest lie of all. The following true story illustrates this point. At age 39, Melanie was feeling very stressful, especially at home, something was just plain wrong.  Her husband encouraged her to get some help; and, her family doctor prescribed a very expensive medication to treat the symptoms.  The result was predictable.  She stopped feeling stressed. A few months later she discovered her husband was cheating on her.  As a result she sought out a marriage counselor. She said she was completely taken by surprise - indeed, she never even once suspected her husband was being unfaithful. Actually before she started on meds, she was aware something was wrong at home.  She felt stress. There had to be a cause and there was.  All the medication did was interfere with the normal funtion of her body by shutting down it's 'early warning defense system'.

Mistake 5. My Stress Is Just Temporary

Reality:  Usually when one speaks about having an ongoing stress problem it is a reference to the persistent, nagging sense of forboding that comes from a 'forgotten past event' or situation which dynamically impacted one's life.  Even though this memory is 'suppressed, pushed down or forgotten', it is still alive  - dormant, like a virus in a computer - just waiting for the right set of circumstances to trigger the long forgotten stressful 'feeling'. It now roars to the surface in all its fury.  Only this time, the victim does not have the slightest idea as to the nature of its origin. Left untreated, it will never go away.

The author of this article is John F. Boylan, Ph.D., a seminary graduate, having both a Master of Divinity degree and a Ph.D., in Psychology with an emphasis in behavioral psychology. In private practice for 21 years Dr. Boylan has done extensive research on the subject of stress and stress related issues.  Dr. Boylan is currently director of the Day Spring Center in the Dallas, Texas area and has pioneered research in the uses of bio-monitors to assist in the rapid treatment of stress and anxiety.

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